How To Stop Jehovah Witness Visits?

[Magibon]

About a month and a half ago, these people came to my door to preach and try to recruit me to their 'Kingdom Hall'.
Being a respectful/polite person, i listened to their speech and at the end kindly told them im not interested.

yet.. they have been coming to my house ever since?
Sometimes i see them through my window and ignore them.
sometimes my neighbors see them when im not home.
But i've tallied up the visits and they have come atleast once a week!
Sometimes twice a week!

What is up with these people?
I have done some research into how i can stop these people.
Im not the confrontational type.
I don't want to leave a note or call the 'Kingdom Hall'.

It's starting to almost feel like im being stalked.

anyone have any suggestions?

[Hydaral]

Why don't you see how they like it?

http://abstrusegoose.com/31

[m^(2)]

Tough problem.
Invite them in. Treat them with coffee. Don't be stingy with purgatives.

[webfork]

anyone have any suggestions?

This is probably the weirdest forum I've ever heard to ask that question. However, knowing something about the organization, I am able to verify that the following trick WILL work: "Tell them you were previously disfellowshipped (kicked out of the church). They are not allowed to speak to you, or risk being kicked out of the church themselves." (source).

A friend who was disfellowshipped did not recommend this. You might just imply it and close the door. Alternately, a brief Google search revealed some offerings by the organization itself.

[donald]

Have you considered asking for donations?

I would borrow a book from the library on say dianetics, or some other religion, and explain the good word and ask for donations.

Next tell them you can stay but I begin my religious meditations now and begin to disrobe.

If they continue start sending them letters to ask for donations.

Become their miror image from another religion, they will stop comming.

[Emka]

a brief Google search revealed some offerings by the organization itself.

Very interesting, though it seems the information is from Witnesses for Jesus, which is not identical to Jehovah's Witnesses.

I went to school (and made friends) with a "Witness", whose brother I gave some private English lessons. When my work before an exam was done, their mother came up to me and offered me a religious booklet, which I politely but not too enthusiastically accepted. Some time after that Jehovah's Witnesses actually turned up at my place, and hearing the voice on the intercom I was totally sure it was said lady. I refused to talk to them and afaik they never came back.
Said fellow student also started proselytizing (which he was probably expected to do) when he had reached the age of majority and once rang at another fellow student's door. Upon the smirking question, "Are you being serious, trying to convert ME?!?", the other fellow student was happily left in peace ever after. In conclusion, from experience, the Witnesses CAN be reasonable concerning the proselytizing "business".

BTW, does anyone know the British sitcom Black Books? The protagonist, trying to procrastinate his annual tax declaration, once asks two missionaries into the house. They are completely flabbergasted, stammer "This has never happened before!", but (or therefore) do not know what to talk about, show massive lack of elementary theological knowledge and are finally even taught biblical basics by the protagonist. Cracked me up!

[freakazoid]

The easiest way is to say you're already religious. I always get away with saying I'm Buddhist (even though I'm agnostic) and they stop and move on to the next house

[Checker]

Tell them you are a devil-worshipper ... that will work

[dany]

Get an old ripped Slayer shirt and some cd's (I recommend Hell Awaits (entire album) Jesus Saves or the classic Angel of Death) and crank up the volume before you open the door. That'll loosen their bowels. Beer and loud belching wins you extra points.

Or a big Nietzsche or Darwin poster on your front door, something like that.

Seriously, I usually feign being from a different religion/philosophy too. Usually Buddhism (I like Buddhism), but actually anything eastern seems to put them off in particular. More so than anything else, dunno why. Admittedly, over here it's more the 'regular' Christians doing the proselytizing, not the Jehova's Witnesses. Yea, they can be really stubborn though, they usually turn up around this (Christmas) time of year.

[joby_toss]

My advice? Do not lie! Not about your religion, not about yourself, nor about your beliefs! One should never lie!

If I was in your situation, and didn't want to see them anymore on my porch, I would tell them that next time they are on my property I'll skin them alive! And if they still come, I'll publish the pictures with the sheaths I would make for my knives ... Jehovah's Witness sheaths ...

Forgot to say I believe in people and in faith! Not in God as religions see it!

[cneal]

The degree of ignorance exhibited about Jehovah's Witnesses on the internet is staggering. 98% of postings are irresponsible statements by uninformed people. Jehovah's Witnesses, like Catholics and Anglicans with local parishes, cover local territories. If in fact these were Jehovah's Witnesses who came to your residence, there is a simple response: Just tell the individuals that you would like your address removed from their visitation list. Because people's lives change, people move, people die, properties are sold, in future you may receive a visit from Witnesses to verify that the address is still occupied by the same resident. You only have to politely inform the Witness that you had asked previously for your address to be removed from their visitation list. Witnesses, who volunteer their time, are not interested in wasting it on people who lack interest or need. This is a simple, mature solution, which serves all parties.

[webfork]

The degree of ignorance exhibited about Jehovah's Witnesses on the internet is staggering. 98% of postings are irresponsible statements by uninformed people.

1. Poison the well.

You only have to politely inform the Witness that you had asked previously for your address to be removed from their visitation list.

2. Ignore original concern/issue.

Witnesses, who volunteer their time, are not interested in wasting it on people who lack interest or need. This is a simple, mature solution, which serves all parties.

3. Immaturely complain that other people are being immature.

I realize I have a tendency to call troll whenever someone posts something incendiary, but this checks all the boxes.

[-.-]

just grab them by the arm and pull them inside saying something like hi welcome, come in (first after closing doors, have them take off their shoes) and we can talk some more about this

It works well if you are a large guy and they are women... it'll scare them enough to leave you alone and if they do come in to talk, just turn on the tv and find a sports channel and ask them about which team they like more

[Hydaral]

just grab them by the arm and pull them inside saying something like hi welcome, come in (first after closing doors, have them take off their shoes) and we can talk some more about this

Sounds like there might be assault charges in your future though.

[carbonize]

Get a copy of the Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon etc etc and when they come round asking to talk about god bring all the books to the door and ask where they want to begin.